Archive | May 2012

Arachnophobia

Something I didn’t expect when moving to Kansas is “Spider Season”. This part of Kansas has way too many spiders for my liking. In Texas, I got used to the occasional tarantula and scorpion, but they were few and far between. In Kansas, however, I believe I have discovered the birthplace of ALL spiders.

Everyday I wake up and find some new kind of spider skittering across the wall, floor, bathtub, car, etc. One morning I went out to the garage and found a smallish spider taking up residence on our shelf. OK, I’ll steer clear and it will be fine. Next morning I go out to the garage and find that a BIGGER spider had EATEN the smallish one and taken over habitation. EWWWWW! Cannibal spiders! If a spider doesn’t have a chance against a spider, what chance does my sleeping pinky toe have? For someone not fond of spiders in the least, such as myself, living with spiders proves to be challenging. You know that “icky creepy crawly” feeling you get when you spot a spider? Multiply that feeling by 10 times a day – at least – and there you have my Kansas experience. YIK!

Let me give you a quick visual example:

THIS is what most people see………………………….

THIS is what I see!!!!!

Oh, let’s just go outside…squealing in fear and disgust as we flee through the front door!

Oh HELL NO! Run back inside, flinging open the screen door with the force of a panicked She-Hulk.

(Unfortunately, the cat was attached and not amused at the cartoon-like smash and slam ride on the screen door or being left behind for spider bait. Sorry flat kitty, you’re on your own.)

OH DEAR GOD!!!

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