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House of Cards – Worth a Binge Watch

House of Cards

You can watch House of Cards instantly on Netflix

Netflix has been all over the media lately proclaiming their newest shtick – original programming. My first thought was “I hope its much better than their mostly third rate movie offerings”. I usually only turn on streaming Netflix when I’m bored because there is absolutely nothing on cable.

So when I caught Kevin Spacey on CNN’s Wolf Blitzer discussing his new feature on Netflix, I was intrigued. I really love Kevin Spacey’s acting talent so I flipped on Netflix to see if I could find it.

House of Cards is a 13 episodic mini series offering available on Netflix now. The story line isn’t the epitome of originality, but its very well written. The political drama is witty, surprising, and devilishly revealing. My favorite bits are when Spacey talks directly to the camera to divulge to us, in a candidly personal fashion, his cleverly evil motives & insight.

Robyn Wright’s character is hard to read & I’m hoping that’s on purpose. She is brilliant, as usual. The relationship between her character and Spacey’s leaves a moral rube like myself gasping, “wow” in disbelief at times but then I think it makes sense. Power corrupts on all levels.

All in all, delusional bumpkin as I am, this series its completely entertaining, enlightening, and a MUST SEE! Well done, Netflix. If this is the kind of original programming we can expect, I’m all in. Unless you raise your rates again. I don’t think that less than 1% of original stuff justifies another increase.

 

My Android Addiction

I have to say that after having an Android phone, I don’t know how I ever lived without one. I love this thing! I didn’t think I would at first. I mean, who actually needs all that on a phone. The answer is ME!

I recently had to deal with a bout of the Tummy Flu and was bunkered down in bed for a few days and my apps SAVED THE DAYs! I hit the Google Play store in one of my more lucid moments and quickly got some things to keep me occupied during my down time. There are a few I am just completely addicted to.

Words with FriendsWords with Friends goes without saying! I usually have 5 different games going with each person and I have never tired of this game. I’m a Scrabble junkie. LOL It has always been my favorite board game and now, with 21st century technology, I can Scrabble my ass off all day, all the time!

I absolutely LOVE Bejeweled. It is a mindless fast action puzzle game that helps me just relax Jewels Maze 2my brain in an entertaining way. I got hooked on it when I used to work. Too many things going on at once, so I popped over to Pop Games and decided to give it a try. I always purchased the boxed version and installed on my PC and then my phone, but an even BETTER version of this game can be found in the FREE APP Jewels Maze II

Pinterest app

There is also a Pinterest app. I don’t think I need to go into telling you how THRILLED I am at using that while following Hubz around the tool store or Cabela’s. Ugh…

So what did I download that was new and addicting?

Prize ClawPrize Claw. This app is visually appealing and brings to your phone/tablet all the fun that is the prize claw machine. They have added a few extras to make it interesting addicting: Missions, coins, options to purchase new and better claws w/ your coins, gems that are like power-ups, and another built-in machine just in case you didn’t get enough on the first machine. I truly love this game. The prizes are cute and there is a wee bit of challenge to it at times. The only thing I do not like about this game is the nag screen to buy (with real money) coins. But, it doesn’t pop up until you are out of grabs so its not enough to get my BP up.

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There are a few apps I keep on my phone just because I’m around lil kiddoes every so often and these keep them mesmerized for awhile.

Perfect piano

Perfect Piano – Just keep the volume down on this one but the kids love it!








Doodle Draw

Doodle Toy!™ – Lots of settings and neon and presets. I’ve found myself spending some time on this app myself. LOL

Hubz done lost his mind!

My husband shows me this video

Then informs me that he WANTS one. They are better than kittens. HA! That’s a pretty bold declaration there, hubby.

So I look up the Pygmy Slow Loris. Uhmmmmm…turns out they are poisonous! Yep, that oh-so-cute lil guy up there secretes toxins from a gland in its arm! Waita primate that secretes toxins?

From Wikipedia :

“When threatened, slow lorises may also lick their brachial glands and bite their aggressors, delivering the toxin into the wounds. Slow lorises can be reluctant to release their bite, which is likely to maximize the transfer of toxins.”

From Kingsnake.com

With disproportionately huge and sharp canine teeth (very fang-like) and powerful jaw muscles their bites alone can be absolutely agonising. However, the pain is compounded by factors beyond the simple tissue trauma caused by the mechanical damage from the powerful jaws. The lorises are actually toxic! On the inside of their elbows, sebaceous tissue secretes a toxin (like sweat pores, which is rather fitting since the toxic mixture smells remarkably like sweaty socks). The lorises take it into their mouth and deliver it in the bite. It is not the upper and lower jaw vampire like canine teeth that deliver this toxin. It is the innocuously small teeth in the front of the lower jaw which slope forward and help conduct the saliva into the wound. One time I was working with the large lorises in the research collection and a visiting vet student from Belgium saw me putting on big thick gloves. She asked why I was doing that and I told her about the viciousness of the lorises. She looked at them and said that they couldn’t hurt anyone and besides, it wouldn’t be any fun to use gloves. I raised an eyebrow and said ‘be my guest’. Two hours later, with her hand still painfully throbbing merrily away despite the many ice packs on it, I asked her if she was having fun yet!

As adorable and interesting as this thing is….the answer is NO, Hubby!

Taste the Rabies

Something borrowed; 
Something new;
Something gross 
Bagged in blue.

So I’m at the grocery store perusing the aisles for something hubby might like to nosh on in his lunch for work when I spy with my little eye SKITTLES in a new blue bag. What’s “new” about them? They are FIZZY and promise a party in your mouth. Being a big fan of Pop Rocks back in the day, I only hesitated a second before tossing them into my cart.

To make a long story short, they didn’t “fizz” as I would have hoped. They FOAMED. That’s right, it’s akin to rabies with a fruity twist. It’s like a party in your mouth alright, but the ONLY guests that showed up are those scrubbing bubbles guys and they are dancing like no one is watching all over your gums.

So my conclusion on this little taste testing episode is “EEEEWWWWW!”. Need to change their marketing on this one to “taste the Cujo”. Ok, Ok, Lame, I know…it was the Skittles.

Rethinking Reincarnation

I was watching a show on the Science channel about the search for our soul. I won’t go into the particulars, but it was quite thought provoking. Once provoked, my mind tends to go off on a tangent and then split into ten different directions. As I’ve always stated, if I wasn’t so lazy I  would swear I have ADD.  Anyway, part of the show delved into reincarnation. This is something I used to believe in when I was younger. But since I couldn’t find any concrete answers, I gave up wasting precious time while I’m alive trying to figure out what happens after I’m dead. But this show provoked my mind to fire off those old synapses again.

I, for one, am hoping that reincarnation in its popularly understood form does not exist. Seriously I do. I think it’s a pretty unfair deal. I don’t think I would enjoy coming back as a “lower” life form. I used to muse about what it would be like to come back as a cat. Following the realism of that train of thought, I’m going to have to go with “no”. A house cat seems get bored quite alot. I think that’s why they sleep so much. I know it’s why I sleep so much. Plus they are constantly staring out of a window to a world they can not participate in at all. So a house cat just has a really nice cushy cage (your house). And Lord forbid being an outdoor cat! For survival and safety’s sake I would have to join some sort of kitty gang and I’m just not that much of a “joiner”.

There’s the possibility of coming back as a bear. You may be thinking, “hell YEH, a bear!” Strong and armed with long sharp claws and teeth but I say, “NOPE”.  They shit in the woods. I don’t shit in the outdoors. Even when I’m camping, I hold it till I can find a nice gas station with a lockable door. I need peace and security to do the doo. I tried to poop in a porta-potty located in our tent once. It was a “no go”. Let’s just say that gopher wasn’t coming outta her hole for all the granola and nuts in the world! Also, a bear’s territory is about 8 to 15 square miles. That’s A LOT of walking. That’s just too damned much exercise. Especially carrying all that poundage a bear has. Although, on the plus side, bears hibernate and I LOVE naps!

You may be thinking that coming back as a bird would be majestic and the ultimate in freedom. To that I say, “Hell NO!” Birds sleep in trees. That’s way too damned much like camping. I’m assuming that from the preceding bear idea, you can get that I hate camping. Plus, a bird’s diet is just icky. Things like snakes and worms just don’t seem like something I’d want to come back to life to feast on. Oh, and the whole egg laying thing. Hell no, uh uh, no way! Do you know that eggs come out of the same hole as the poop? Anal. Really? I’m not coming back to roll out a bunch of polished boulder butt babies!

Then there’s the bug. WTF? A bug??? What kind of reincarnation justice is THAT? I seriously think bugs hit the windshield on purpose. I know I would! I mean, they are probably thinking, “WTF? I’m a fucking bug! Screw it, I’ll take my chances in the next life.” Then SPLAT! The roulette wheel of reincarnation spins again as you watch the guts smear with each wiper swipe.

If reincarnation actually exists, I’m not a fan. I like the “one shot” deal. It gives me no excuse for being lazy and waiting till the next go ’round to participate in life’s adventures. Plus reincarnation goes against everything I believe in. I don’t believe in joining gangs, pooping in the woods, backdoor birth or committing suicide. Next time I think I’ll just change the channel or just take a nap.

I’m HIP! I swear!

I have just been informed by my daughter that I am, once again, Unhip, Out of Touch, Old School, Soooo Yesterday and completely Blasé because “Nobody uses MySpace anymore”. What? Wait! I haven’t reached the age of “nobody” yet! Ok, I’ll admit that I don’t really ‘get’ Justin Bieber and I really really have the urge to tackle him and give him a DECENT haircut. I mean, c’mon, he looks like he stole his Grandpa’s bad toupee, plopped in on his head and invented the sport of Extreme Comb Over. Ugh. Ick. Get a haircut! And pull up your pants!

You know, it wasn’t all that long ago that I joined MySpace. My daughter was the first on my friends list. (Tom doesn’t count. He never does.) Now my first friend has abandoned me for greener, social networking grasses. I feel so virtually alone. It does seem that many, especially the Gen Millenniums, have migrated over to Facebook to flee the parental perusal of their personal innermost chaos that is youth. So, I pop over to start a Facebook page and see what all the hubbub is about. Much to my dismay, my Mother has a Facebook page. My Mother! When did she become cutting edge? I am appalled! Look, there are plenty of things I will let my Mom ‘win’ at: Shrinking the fastest; Growing hair in the oddest place; The Hacky Sack Boob Tournament; The Knee Replacement Gimp-Along; The Ambulance/ER Hula Hoop-alooza; The Left Blinker Drive-athon. But my Mother does not get to win at HIP! She can’t even program a DVD player, but she has a FACEBOOK page?!?

She just cannot out-cool me! My Mom has never been cool. Well, not that I’ve ever seen. She never wore neon pink fishnet leggings or high heeled tennis shoes. She never hitched across the United States. I’ve never known her to street race. She doesn’t play paintball. She has never hung out at the airport just to talk to random people coming and going. She never rocked out to KISS (although I did see her dance to a Madonna song once and died an inner death). I may just have an aneurysm over this whole thing.

Maybe it’s time to take a good long look in the mirror. Considering what I saw this morning, standing there naked and blow drying my hair then slathering on the wrinkle-defense moisturizer, I scrapped that notion all together. My mirror time has been drastically cut over the years since I found myself peering quizzically at myself and uttering,’Am I supposed to grow hair there?!” and “WTF! Why is that still jiggling?”

Maybe it’s time to get out my neon pink fishnets and recapture my true hipness? Remembering the result of the black fishnets I tried to pry on for a romantic anniversary evening months ago, I’m scrapping that idea too. Fishnets no longer hold their “ooh la la” appeal when there’s cellulite bulging from every hole. I looked like I was covered in a honeycombed pattern of tiny loaves of well-risen bread. Oh! The horror! What is even worse is that, currently, the only effective push-up bras I have are my forearms crossed in front of me. Of course, when I uncross them my breasts deflate and sink heavily like tube socks filled with over-ripe grapefruits. These things actually sling around now. Seriously! I have to be sure to wear a support bra when I vacuum or they sling in opposite directions posing a major danger to my face and ribs. I can’t run the risk of allowing centrifugal force making them meet in the middle. It would take me HOURS to untangle those things!

Maybe it’s time to embrace cool technology. Hmmmmmm. I don’t see the point in Twitter-ing. I mean, who wants to know I’m filing my nails, formulating spreadsheets, can’t find my keys, covering my grays, that I think I’m turning into a cat because I’m sprouting whiskers or I’ve spent the last two hours trying to untangle my boobs because I got lazy on laundry day?

I need something new. Something cool. I know! I’ll blog. I’ll let theinner me come out. I’ll share my ultimate grooviness with the world. I’ll let the fellow netizens observe the world through my eyes. I’ll show the world my eloquently edgy view of life and stuff and things. Blog! That’s what I’ll do! I’ll show my daughter I’m hip and cool. Look out world, here comes some pretty cool stuff. Well, it’s coming as soon as I call my Mother and have her tell me how to post this on Facebook!