Rethinking Reincarnation

I was watching a show on the Science channel about the search for our soul. I won’t go into the particulars, but it was quite thought provoking. Once provoked, my mind tends to go off on a tangent and then split into ten different directions. As I’ve always stated, if I wasn’t so lazy I  would swear I have ADD.  Anyway, part of the show delved into reincarnation. This is something I used to believe in when I was younger. But since I couldn’t find any concrete answers, I gave up wasting precious time while I’m alive trying to figure out what happens after I’m dead. But this show provoked my mind to fire off those old synapses again.

I, for one, am hoping that reincarnation in its popularly understood form does not exist. Seriously I do. I think it’s a pretty unfair deal. I don’t think I would enjoy coming back as a “lower” life form. I used to muse about what it would be like to come back as a cat. Following the realism of that train of thought, I’m going to have to go with “no”. A house cat seems get bored quite alot. I think that’s why they sleep so much. I know it’s why I sleep so much. Plus they are constantly staring out of a window to a world they can not participate in at all. So a house cat just has a really nice cushy cage (your house). And Lord forbid being an outdoor cat! For survival and safety’s sake I would have to join some sort of kitty gang and I’m just not that much of a “joiner”.

There’s the possibility of coming back as a bear. You may be thinking, “hell YEH, a bear!” Strong and armed with long sharp claws and teeth but I say, “NOPE”.  They shit in the woods. I don’t shit in the outdoors. Even when I’m camping, I hold it till I can find a nice gas station with a lockable door. I need peace and security to do the doo. I tried to poop in a porta-potty located in our tent once. It was a “no go”. Let’s just say that gopher wasn’t coming outta her hole for all the granola and nuts in the world! Also, a bear’s territory is about 8 to 15 square miles. That’s A LOT of walking. That’s just too damned much exercise. Especially carrying all that poundage a bear has. Although, on the plus side, bears hibernate and I LOVE naps!

You may be thinking that coming back as a bird would be majestic and the ultimate in freedom. To that I say, “Hell NO!” Birds sleep in trees. That’s way too damned much like camping. I’m assuming that from the preceding bear idea, you can get that I hate camping. Plus, a bird’s diet is just icky. Things like snakes and worms just don’t seem like something I’d want to come back to life to feast on. Oh, and the whole egg laying thing. Hell no, uh uh, no way! Do you know that eggs come out of the same hole as the poop? Anal. Really? I’m not coming back to roll out a bunch of polished boulder butt babies!

Then there’s the bug. WTF? A bug??? What kind of reincarnation justice is THAT? I seriously think bugs hit the windshield on purpose. I know I would! I mean, they are probably thinking, “WTF? I’m a fucking bug! Screw it, I’ll take my chances in the next life.” Then SPLAT! The roulette wheel of reincarnation spins again as you watch the guts smear with each wiper swipe.

If reincarnation actually exists, I’m not a fan. I like the “one shot” deal. It gives me no excuse for being lazy and waiting till the next go ’round to participate in life’s adventures. Plus reincarnation goes against everything I believe in. I don’t believe in joining gangs, pooping in the woods, backdoor birth or committing suicide. Next time I think I’ll just change the channel or just take a nap.

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